Right Round, Like a Record Baby

I realize that records are one continuous groove that goes around, not several different ones, but work with me here. Lately I've felt as if I'm on the same record as my life, but I'm in a different groove. I can see where I would normally be, where life as I know it lies, and yet I can't get there. I try, but it winds up being awkward and disjointing as the record skips and I'm back where I started. The description is as close as I can come to my life as of late. I do something I would normally do, and yet it feels different, and the result isn't the same, and no one really knows how to react.

A good friend told me that it just means I'm 'evolving' ... evolving into what? Only the Universe knows that one at this point I'm afraid. Each time I think about it, I just get lost in the many ways my path could be going at this moment in time.

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

~ M. Scott Peck

So the Universe is pushing me out of my rut and forcing me to see things in new lights. Apparently I wasn't doing a good enough job on my own at it. This does spark a memory however. I was told, by a few people, that once I stop being snarky, drop the sarcastic qualities and live my truth, I would find my partner. The moments I feel the most out of place, are when I try and fall back on my old humor, on being snarky. It no longer seems to fit. When I press I just feel even more out of place with things.

“Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it”

~ Thomas Carlyle

“A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.”

~ Lawrence G Lovasik

While I doubt that I will soon become a sugary sweet woman with nary a sarcastic word oozing from her mouth, I will do better at tempering my words.

Sarcasm is often an easy way out, it deflects the focus back onto the other person involved. It's a great way to avoid actually being real and dealing with things that are happening, be they emotions, thoughts, simple words.

I will soon help teach another reiki class. I have a feeling that is the reason for some of this change. Energy has begun to move and change, and life moves and changes with it. Dreams become more detailed and graphical, activities turn towards the spiritual and the meditative, and your body begins to purge toxins.

I shall close by thanking the Universe for letting me see the jars as opposed to letting me continue to fumble along blindly in the dark. Thank you for letting me carry a candle on this confusing journey and for providing matches with which to light it.

“But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart...”

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery