Quieting the Monkey Mind

“Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit”
~ Jeremy Taylor

Our lives are often so busy we forget to sit and rest our minds for a few moments each day.



I started this entry a few days ago... and then stopped. To me that is a great example of needing to just sit sometimes. Instead I got so wrapped up in things and got busy and tired and and and. Bottom line is, the entry sat dormant for several days waiting to be finished. My week has been so hectic between working, going to the gym, trying to spend time with family, etc, that I haven't really taken a moment to just be quiet and breathe. Even when I try and take a few moments before bed my mind is racing with thoughts from the day or upcoming days. So I shall now resolve to try and work more meditation back into my life. It's time. To that end, I'm browsing the podcasts to see if there's anything new I might want to listen to.

Believe

I've been taking stock of things recently... life, direction, motivation... you name it I'm eyeballing it. I'm ready for my life to go in a direction that it hasn't really been going. So now the task becomes figuring out how to get things going in the direction I want. That or just charging in blindly... that doesn't really work usually so that plan is out the window.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I do versus what I am. What I do is what pays the bills, provides health insurance, etc. What I am is what drives me, what gets me going, etc. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy my job. There's just more out there that really interests me.

This entry is showing all the signs of bouncing from topic to topic. They're all related and connected though, I promise. It might not be all too evident however.

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
~ Stephen Levine

I'm ready.

I've been saying for months how I'm ready for change, as if saying it multiple times will somehow magically make the universe realize that it can hit me with change. This of course has dangers as well because the universe could suddenly decide to hit me all at once rather than gently send it on my way.

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
~ Wayne W. Dyer

So now I begin to make the changes in my life that need to be made in order to achieve what I want to achieve. I can see the final picture, I see it all the time, I'm just not sure how to get from A to C without first knowing what B is. Faith has been placed in myself and the PTB.

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.
~ Emmanuel

Deliberate Intensity of Life

I often talk about change, how I feel it coming, how it's making my life go wonky, etc. Despite all that, I don't often stop and reflect on changes when they actually happen, or what they mean. The new year has brought changes with it this time. They're subtle but quite obvious at the same time. I'm more on point with things this time around. I've made a decision to be my true self because that is the only way that I'm going to get where I want to get in life. If I can't buckle down and get the job done now when I'm in a support position, how can I expect to do it when I'm in charge of things?

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. ~ Gail Devers

So, now that I've begun to be my true self again, where does that lead? I am back to being in charge of things, not taking slack from anyone, am requesting others to challenge me, and am challenging them to be their true selves. Part of all of that is simple trust.

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly. ~ Patrick Overton

Trust is never that simple of course. It takes a lot of effort on your part, to let yourself go to that place. You have to be ok with yourself and all the ups and downs that come with that self. We never have been, nor ever shall be perfect except in our imperfections. We have good days, we have bad days, we have days that are just days with no real good or bad quality to them. The trick then, is to be able to look yourself in the eye and say 'Here I am, this is it. I can live to my full potential or I can live a passive life and I cannot be passive!'

Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don't do that by sitting around wondering about yourself. ~ Katharine Hepburn

So, live deliberately, and live intensely. Show the world who you are and what you stand for, and don't be afraid to stand out in the process.

Gratitude

Today in covenant group we discussed changes in the past year as well as those who helped us make some positive changes. Part of that was figuring out if we had expressed our gratitude to those who had helped us. That was a tough question for me... there have been so many helpful people this past year who have brought about so much change in me and my life that I couldn't make the list out in the time allotted. Then I realized that I hadn't really thanked people. One of the group members brought up the idea of living a life that they would want you to live is one way to thank a person. Which is true. But still, it's nice to actually thank someone now and again.

So here's my challenge to myself, to write thank you notes to at least 5 people who really matter in my life who have really helped me out. Not just a simple 'thanks' or 'thank you' but a really heartfelt note written just for them.

I'll update on how that goes as I start doing it.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has a cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
~ Albert Schweitzer

From my calendar at work for January:
There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
~ Jean Jacques Rousseau

New year, new times

So it's a new year...and it started off with dreams that are more confusing than anything else. I hope it's not a teaser of what's to come. Knowing me it will be however.

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
~ Leon Joseph Cardinal Suenens

I have a strange feeling about this year. It's a good feeling and a somewhat nerve producing feeling. I feel like I'm on the cusp of change, of doing what I'm in this town to do. That's where the nerves come in. If I finish what I'm here to finish, do I stay after that or do I move on and start on my new task? Also curious as to what that new task might be. Time will tell.

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher